Requests For Comment Fred's Quirky Proposals

Abstract: This RFC proposes mandatory 15-minute coffee breaks every 2 hours during security assessments. Studies show that caffeinated assessors are 73% more likely to spot vulnerabilities and 89% less likely to fall asleep during documentation reviews.

Motivation: After reviewing 247 security assessments this month, I've noticed a direct correlation between coffee consumption and assessment quality. We need to formalize this relationship.

Abstract: This RFC proposes a formal certification program for security cats. Fluffy has demonstrated exceptional ability to detect unauthorized access attempts (especially when food is involved) and should be recognized as a legitimate security control.

Certification Levels:

• Level 1: Basic Intruder Detection (Cat Security Associate)
• Level 2: Advanced Threat Hunting (Cat Security Professional)
• Level 3: Expert Vulnerability Assessment (Cat Security Expert)

Abstract: This RFC establishes security standards for basement-based government operations. Key requirements include: soundproofing for confidential calls, proper ventilation for coffee brewing, and emergency exit routes that don't require climbing stairs.

Abstract: This RFC defines the Emergency Coffee Protocol for critical security incidents. When a major security breach occurs, all personnel must have access to emergency coffee supplies within 5 minutes. This includes instant coffee, energy drinks, and emergency caffeine pills.

Abstract: This RFC proposes rubber duck debugging as an official security control for code reviews. Studies show that explaining security issues to a rubber duck improves vulnerability detection by 42%. All security assessors must have a rubber duck on their desk.

Fred's RFC Process:

1. Idea: Fred has a brilliant (or questionable) idea
2. Coffee: Fred drinks coffee and thinks about it more
3. Draft: Fred writes the RFC in his basement
4. Review: Community reviews and comments
5. More Coffee: Fred considers feedback
6. Decision: Fred makes the final call

Have a brilliant idea for improving FredRAMP? Submit your own RFC! Just make sure it's properly caffeinated and basement-tested.